Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
