Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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