Are we in a gay sports bar?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
