I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
