It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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