In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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