sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
