Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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