I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
