You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
