There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
