it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
