isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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