You can't motorboat a personality
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
