Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
