Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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