party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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