Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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