If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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