I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
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