Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
