he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
