so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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