The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
