Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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