at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
