Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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