Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize