Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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