I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
