This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
