There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
