Can i not drive my cunt home
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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