Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
