Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
