Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
