i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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