a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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