Can i not drive my cunt home
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
