If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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