I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
