idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
my liver is dry heaving
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
