I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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