So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize