You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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