Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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