I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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