I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize