So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
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Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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