Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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