you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So vagazzling was a success
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
