On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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