Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
