I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
