so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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