Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
