Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
