the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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