dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Alive.
So much puke
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
