I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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