Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you win again, gameday.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
