you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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