He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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