saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
