Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
