I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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