Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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