I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
